Beauty In the Mess Hall

Just imagine for a sec.

The world has it’s next unimaginable tragedy on it’s hands.

50,000 people are dead. A country RUINED. Broken hearts and lives that are changed forever.

And with 50-gigatons of ferocity, the Human Condition rallies in record numbers, FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, to do what it can to help.

To give.

Humans to love other humans.

To feel and believe that a single person can make someone else's life better just because they have lived.

The world is such a very good place.

We rally for each other when we should.

Lessons daily.

I am very hope-filled for today.

The "Love of My Life" Syndrome

I'm not sure about anyone else, but I ALWAYS fall for this one. ALWAYS.

Deeply guarded under the reaction, the silly and the angry and the mean and the emotional and the inspiring and the clever and the quiet is… my HEART.

No one gets it. FIVE have. In TWENTY-NINE YEARS. Five girlfriends.

All of them, and I mean ALL of them, have been beautiful people that were very deserving of me givin it to them. Better humans than me probably.

But in each, for their own personal, and different reasons, they have come to a close.

And I get myself into a very BAD POSITION, because of this syndrome. The “Love of my Life” syndrome.

I’ve called them all the “Love of my Life” because at the time, I really believed it in my guts. And then used that against myself to stay even when it was over or never gonna work. And run most of them into the ground.

I REALLY am a “romantic”, and when I feel that powerful sense of, “sheesh, this woman is the love of my life” it rattles my core.

The PROBLEM is that I allow it to blind me into believing in the unbelievable. Clouds my judgement and MOST brutally I quit listening to my own intuition.

Beauty and the Beast.

Which also happens to be my favorite Disney movie.

And like everything, the truth is always somewhere in the middle of these two.

There's a point....

to the upcoming narcissism. I promise.

I went to Joshua Tree for Thanksgiving. I'd make the trip here anytime of year.

Because it's a beautiful place. Magical.

And I like beautiful things. And Harry Potter.

When I arrived, I was feeling exhausted by the coagulation of the year. Nothin bad, just feelin like a frayed rope from grindin around. It didn't help that I arrived in the wee hours of the night. But those are just the symptoms, not the diagnosis.

So anyways..............

I feel invigorated again. Stepped back and separated from the emotion it takes to be able to write everyday. At its core writing is about bein open and vulnerable. It's a lot like when you step on stage for the first time to sing. There's nothin like listenin to somebody sing, and REALLY meaning it.

During my time in the park, I noticed how the Joshua Tree's scattered amid the mountains and valleys resembled people.

It's not that they LOOKED like people or that they were TALKIN to me - just that I found a way to over personify them. They all looked alike, had the same structure and "design" but that there were no two the same.

Joshua Tree's are special. The only place you can find them is in the Mohave desert. They reproduce via stinky seedlings in the Spring. And they're a type of desert Yucca, which means they grow REAL SLOOOOOOOW. But, they can also live for several hundred years.

Made me think of how when you give something the right space and time, you can get some pretty cool results.

I'm amazed by how when someone offers the tiniest belief in me, how far that can actually travel.

You could label the Joshua's as ugly, haggard, unsightly, monstrous trees. Or you could recognize them for the highly "special"ized organism it is.

Call me crazy for communing with the trees, but however you choose to seek him out, god is.

Safe

Over half-way done with my "experiment" and I know that most of my readers are OVER it.

Ardi-ficial Intelligence

This is Ardi. She is over four million years old.

It’s spectacular that we ever found her. And from the drawing, this 110 pound beauty woulda been on my list of hottest Hominids ever.

I totally woulda taken her out for a Brontosaurus Burger.

On a side note…. HOW does anyone believe the Earth is only 10,000 years old?

I’m serious. I know lots of beautiful religious folks who don't think that. Please explain how you can just “turn this off”.

I’m a fan of what religion does for people and filling lonliness gaps, and helping people to strive to be of service. But there is no denying that the Bible is wrong scientifically.

On a second side note.... It's getting harder and harder to have a well-rounded opinion using the same old one-sided ideas. Science needs some Spirituality, and Spirituality needs some Science.

Now back to Ardi.

Is there a way we coulda done a light wax?

Holy Boat!!!!

I was goin over the Noah’s Ark story again.

The flood’s comin. God isn’t happy. Wants to start over.

DO-OVER!!!!!

Tells this Noah cat to get two of every living thing on a boat.

Which is right where I begin to lose it…

Scientists have been busy recording species for the past EONS cataloging some 20,000 species of fish, 6,000 species of reptiles, 9,000 birds, 6,000 amphibians, and about 6,000 known species of mammals. And, although there are a million named species of insects, there’s probably another million waiting to be discovered and named. And without the convenience of jumpin on a round-the-world flight to gather up monkeys and frogs and mosquitoes, Noah is forced to rely on his Fred Flinstone car to get around. And he’s gotta work fast, flood's comin. Unless, of course Noah really did live to be 500 years old.

OR, if the Bible meant only “kinds” as in a “dog” or a “gorilla”, that would imply a certain evolutionary advantage in order to CREATE the genetic diversity of life we have now. Which we know isn’t a favored opinion among Creationists. Man, this is getting confusing.

So…

To be fair let’s knock out the fish and the birds, and half the reptiles and amphibians… some of those cats can live in salt water.

That’s 1,012,000

TIMES TWO.

2,024,000.

That’s a BIG BOAT NOAH!!!!!

Beauty-Full

The beauty of life is this simple.

It’s Sunday night. You are in your kitchen. The radio is on. And a song comes on that just absolutely DEMANDS the respect of you grabbin the broom and layin fingers to thin wood in tribute.

For a second ALL is right with the planet.

Moments. Every day. All the time.

Let’s find them shall we?

Tell someone you love about the perfection of who they are.

To All the Fellas of the blog....

There could be no greater slippery slope as to when your lady goes to the hair salon.

Some helpful tips........

-Try to remember to IMMEDIATELY comment RIGHT when you see her about how amazing her hair looks.

-Most of the time they get a 1/16th of an inch cut off, and you can't tell. THIS IS BAD. Leave yourself a note in your flip-phone reminding yourself to comment IMMEDIATELY on how amazing her hair looks.

-90% of the time, after getting the 1/16th of an inch cut off, they are CONVINCED their hair is RUINED. Don't EVER agree. EVER. Just IMMEDIATELY say she is crazy, and that her hair looks AMAZING.

If she buys it, which usually doesn't happen, but if she does, be guaranteed that you're getting the "special" treatment that night.

You're welcome.

Timmy:D

The Moment

I was in my neighborhood today. On my "block".
Grabbin a coffee. Reading the paper.
Sad, but strong.
Happy I'm healthy and where I am in my life.

And it occurred to me.

When I make sure to go and buy my paper and jolly ranchers from the two girls that are trying like mad to keep their business afloat, and they give me almost a relieved smile, it made me get it.

I feel safe and familiar and protected here.

It's my block. My neighborhood.

And because of my attentive nature to makin sure I support it, without knowing it, my block is supporting me back.

I know it's over-dramatic, but whatever.

It's true.

I had my moment. And my commitment to my community gave back when I needed it most.

I feel safe.

Right Now

Some sick, maladjusted man, who can’t control his physical behavior, is angry at his woman, and wants to “win” the argument, or he wants to take back control from his partner by crossing the very last boundary a man has with his.

He is choosing to hit her. He is choosing to take the beautiful concept of her feeling safe around him, and he is about to throw it away forever.

And it will never be the same. And he should go to jail.

And hundreds, if not thousands, will not go to jail.

And lots of women will even find a way to blame themselves.

Right now. Some man could be hitting your sister.

I don’t give a &%$! HOW badly your woman is beatin on you. She’s a girl. Cover up and leave her.

Real Men don’t hit women.

EVER.

If you want to help take a stand against domestic abuse, there is a benefit concert and silent auction tonight, September 25th, 7pm at Queen Bee's in North Park.

And it's a DOPE line-up.

Astra Kelly, Lindsay White, Gayle Skidmore, Veronica May, Podunk Nowhere, and many more of San Diego's most beautiful and talented are taking the stage.

AND, apparently there are private pole dancing lessons in the silent auction...

Uh... can I just repeat... private pole dancing lessons!!!!

So if you're not doing anything tonight, come have a killer evening and give to a good cause.

It's only $10 and 100% of the proceeds are going to the YWCA's Becky's House.

Info here:

Saturday, September 25th at
Queen Bee’s Art and Cultural Center
3925 Ohio Street San Diego, CA 92104
(619) 255-5147 www.queenbeessd.com

Showtime: 7pm-12am Doors: 6pm
$10 donation at the door or visit www.ywcasandiego.org
to purchase pre-sale tickets.
100% of proceeds got to the YWCA’s Becky’s House

Line up:
Cafe Stage:
7-7:30pm Emmy
8-8:30pm Lindsay White and Veronica May
9:15-9:45pm Gayle Skidmore
10:30-11pm Wendy Bailey

Main Stage:
7:30-8pm Podunk Nowhere
8:30-9:15pm SABA
9:45-10:30pm Sheila Sondergard
11-11:45pm Astra Kelly

Thanks for reading.

Timmy:D

Kahlil Gibran on Self-Knowledge...

This guy was JUST as important as any of the others. Aristotle, Plato, Benjamin Franklin, Einstein…

I'm so happy I got to read this dude.

"Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.
But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart’s knowledge.
You would know in words that which you have always known in thought.
You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.
And it is well you should.
The hidden well-spring of your soul must needs rise and run murmuring to the sea;
And the treasure of your infinite depths would be revealed to your eyes.
But let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasure;
And seek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or sounding line.
For self is a sea boundless and measureless.
Say not, “I have found the truth,” but rather, “I have found a truth.
Say not, “I have found the path of the soul.” Say rather, “I have met the soul walking upon my path.”
For the soul walks upon all paths.
The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.
The soul unfolds itself like a lotus of countless petals."

Some Perspective

When these dudes never won a Grammy, well, you can probly ascertain what I think of the Grammy’s.

Ridiculous.

Winning a grammy is slightly below the same as qualifying for the express lane at Ralph's.

Period.

But when you know people up for a music award, you really do find yourself in a slightly different position.

Caring a bit. Rootin for em.

Because you want their music to be heard!

And of course I wish you all the best. I put my vote in last week.

But SERIOUSLY...

What a f+ck+n joke.

Led Zeppelin never won a Grammy.

lololololololol…..

Something Remembered

I've been deep and reflective towards some things recently. Not on purpose, but I've witnessed an end to an era. I think we would all want to look back and reflect when another chapter closes.

The quote from Mitch Album's book Tuesdays With Morrie has been hanging in mind. "When you learn how to die, you learn how to live."

I came across this photo recently. I don't know these people, but when I looked at it and got goosebumps, I remembered that we all spend time losing track of what's important with work, bills, ambition, ego, false-pride, and what not...

That when two people hold hands like THIS, that a trillion, gagillion dollars is never buying you this moment.

The best things in life really are FREE.

Just take a look.

I just realized that the words I wrote almost dimish the greatness of this photo.

People in love, really in love, heal the planet.

AMAZING.

My Peoples...

Blue collar is a mentality.

Case in point.

I have a friend on a music tour. She plays in full, live, electric band. All of her own tunes. She's worked hard and at this point could be sittin back and relaxing before every show.

Instead she's out roamin around the crowd, handing out promos and hustlin. Promotin. Hustlin. That's rockstar. There isn't another way about it.

And I wish I was up there with 'em. Because I know how much fun they're havin right now.

And I also know the effort it takes to pull it off.

That kind of attitude or ethic comes from somewhere. People aren't born with this. It's ground in through good parenting. Earning a wage. "Punchin in".

Blue Collar isn't a "look". It's an approach to life.

My peoples...

"Wake me up! Wake me up!"

Last night I coughed up the twelve bucks for a movie theater ticket, and went to see Inception.

Both are crazy, but this movie is NUTS. I'm a "thinkin" guy, and this movie is telling a story on four different pages. Four different sub-plots. Four different angles. You'll at one point feel like someone has screwed your skull off and is eating your brains with a spoon. FACT.

After Memento and Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan is a serious player among Hollywood directors. This movie was a MONSTER to create and put together. And he somehow finds a way to walk us backwards right into the "forward" and seal the entire package up. I left totally satisfied, and with a billion questions. Which means...?

I'm goin to see it again.

The movie is visually stunning and I probably popped a couple neurons along the way, but no matter how manicured the graphics are and how good the acting is, it always seems to come down to this: "do I even care about anyone?".

Enter Leonardo Dicaprio.

As everything moves forward, and as the chips begin crunching as another layer of bean dip was piled on, I found myself always caring about what happens to him and his character.

Finding and knowing "truth" is something that has always been important to me, and without his commitment to his "truth" and his emotional struggle and pain, I'm only knee deep a dope technical movie.

Inception wins.

Dear America

This is why I love my country.

I grew up in the Midwest, on a tiny island in Michigan. Where people stopped on the street when I was 10, and took the time to say hi to a WAY too busy child.

Where a single mama could raise two kids. Where money didn’t matter. Where the simple joys really were the definition of joy.

I didn’t grow up worryin about clothes, and cars, and "who" people were.

I grew up with a pack of other rugrats who got in trouble, who mowed the lawn, who raced home after dusk because I wanted to play one more game.

People typically didn’t hurt kids. We left our door unlocked. We were poor, and I never knew it.

I was taught that if I worked hard, I could do anything.

Men had blue-collar jobs, worked long hours, drank harder. Loved their wives. Stayed with them a long long time. They fought about money. They always seemed to have dinner on the table. Football ruled all. And football was what we looked forward to.

And the thing I remember most….. the MOST….

Is that EVERY single parent I knew, just wanted their kids to have a better life than they did. That was the goal above everything else…. EVERYTHING.

I still to this day, because of my upbring, don’t need a lot. I just need enough.

It’s the conversations, the friends, the daily moments, that mean the most to me.

I really am the embodiment, personally, of all that America has to offer.

My only job is to give that to my kid when I have one. So he/she can have, well, a BETTER life than me.

This is what America means to me.

I hope everyone has a safe weekend.

Timmy:D

Initiative

William Kamkwamba saw a windmill in a textbook. He SAW a windmill.

He then gathered garbage, built himself one, and it worked.

Which is somewhat extraordinary when you live in Malawai and the windmill ends up powering your tiny village.

High Times

There is nothing like sporting a limousine down a familiar street.

The only reason to get rich would be this right here.

I went on my first limo ride a short while back and it was also one of the only times I was thinkin, "damn, this don't suck at ALL."

They drive up and park illegally next the curb, and then some cat in a nice outfit with a goofy hat named Bartocamus opens the door for you. Meanwhile, as you're waiting in the cabin for your other friends to show up, you open Champaign bottles by the dozen and toggle with all the extra controls and features your Fred Flinstone ride could only dream of havin. Then, as you start driving around town, its just you and your buddies feelin cooler than everyone else on the planet.

There isn't ONE thing bad about ridin in one of these.

The Payoff

Hey Daddy-O.

It's your son. I'm listenin to that Dave Matthews track 'christmas song'. If you've heard it, it's a little christmasy, but if you've heard it, then I think you know where this is headed.

The experience of being your son will surely be one of the most important and greatest experiences in the history of my life. Words cannot adequately explain or articulate how lucky I am to have the honor of being your son.

As the years sweep us by, and as our life experience grows, I can assure you I have the utmost faith in the person you are.

I have never met anyone your age with the ability to live and think for others the way you do.

I get to learn from you everyday. Even from afar. And hopefully just a smidge of the best of you is helpful in my decision making to think outside the box, to really LIVE my life, shower passion and tolerance and conviction and inspiration into the daily lives of others.

To find beauty in the mess. To continue with my ideals. To breathe big, dream bigger. Find comfort in the grey. Right and wrong are only choices. There are only choices and consequences, and learning from them so we can become a better person, more unified into the larger piece. To the beauty of being human, failin, makin mistakes, and chasing down dreams, and gatherin the spirit in you that is truly special.

I stand here... somewhat speechless........!

Love, Tim

Starburst My Bubble

After nearly 35 years of uninterrupted monopolization of the Fruit Chew industry, Starburst has real problems on their hands.

Jolly Rancher Fruit Chews!!!!!

I had five of these glorious tastebud buddies in my mouth at one point tonight. Chewy but not waxxy. Rich and flavorful in the exact hard candy way of it's father, this Fruit Chew is a SERIOUS contender.

The biggest plus is NO YELLOW and NO ORANGE chews!!!

I think we have adequately addressed my passion for Fruit Chews. To the point where I capitalize Fruit Chew and have given proper regard to the paternal influence of Fruit Chews. Which, btw, Father's Day is happening on Sunday.

Starburst has big troubles.

a sea to every shel

My greatness is in watching the people I love flourish.

It’s been the hardest 90 days of my life.

Because it’s been ALL about me. About why people aren’t acting the way I want them to. Because I have so fiercely personalized the glitches in others. As if they are behaving the way they are because they want to hurt me.

That is so supremely self-obsessed of me. And it’s been really painful to be there.

The shift is happening.

It’s not about me.

It’s about leaning into others. Bein available.

When this happens, I’m not so focussed on me and what I’m not getting or even what I am getting.

Outta self.

It’s the only thing I know of that provides me real happiness.

The train is in the tracks again.

I’m so lucky and grateful.

Ya Got Me

Saddle shoes.

I don't know what it is about them, but they are a huge turn on.

I know I'm OSing...

But THESE are magical and classy and will wear with ANYTHING.

SOLD.

This woman...

married the Eiffel Tower.

I'm not making this up....

She is part of a small group of people who call themselves OBJECTUM SEXUALS.

One problem with the marriage, in her words...

"This issue of intimacy - or lack of it - is forever present."

Her legal name, Erika La Tour Eiffel

BTW - The woman who coined the term OS has been married to the Berlin Wall for over 30 years.

The Dopel Gang

I know it's NEVER good to poke fun at something that is out of a person's control,

but I feel like somebody has to be the one to notice, or at least ask,

wouldn't the dopelganger of this guy be a thumb?

Alone?

Some of you sent me messages asking my opinion about my last post.

Your comments and messages make the writing part fun....

It's not all that logical to think we are the ONLY intelligent life in the galaxy.

That would take a massive amount of blind belief that there is a God who CHOSE just this place to get his "God-Boogy" on. I'm not buyin that.

There's someone out there. And maybe they are baddest zombie creatures we could imagine and it would suck if we found them.

Maybe they are light years behind us, throwin stones at each other.

What I do know is that even if everything about them is different, they have to share the same two things we all need in order to not wanna die.

Someone to love, and somethin to look forward to.

Let THAT soak in....

I'm not even high.

Distant Worlds

This is the most important image ever taken by humanity.

The image contains an estimated 10,000 galaxies.

It is the deepest we've ever looked into space, at a distance of 13 billion light years. Or, to put it another way, looking back approximately 13 billion years.

It is an echo of time, which makes, and you can see why, unlocking the secrets of the universe or, something like life on other planets, perplexing.

But this we know...ALL of everything (alive or not) is subject to the universal law. Think of everything not as existing randomly, but as things existing because of these immutable laws of nature.

There are...........

100 billion stars in the galaxy
100 billion galaxies in the universe
100 billion neurons in your brain
and each of those neurons have 100 billion atoms.

See a pattern?

And if out of the 100 billion galaxies, 1% can support life, leaving 1 million planets with the raw goods to produce life. And if 1% of those planets have ACTUALLY produced intelligent life, that means there are 10,000 other planets out there with some kind of civilization.

Amazing! And it makes my mind hurt a little.

I'm wondering what you think? Let your imagination wander......and wonder.

Are we alone?

Big Problems

The big four story container didn't work. The one they were gonna slide over the leak, then pump the oil from the top of it into tanker boats.

Now they're talking about STUFFING GARBAGE into the valve!

Then today, video was released showing that this oil spill is FAR and BEYOND the numbers that were originally released by BP. This thing is getting worse and worse.

Oil is flooding into the Gold Coast at one Exxon Valdez tanker every four days. 2.5 Million gallons A DAY! I’m wondering if maybe it isn’t time to pull out all the stops, call up Doc Brown and Marty Mcfly, and have them stick a Flux fuckin Capacitor down there.

This is a NIGHTMARE.

To: Whoever

I've never written about heartbreak on this thing before. And it would be INCREDIBLY stupid to keep reading my notes.

Cause I'm livin my life, and I'm gonna emote, and be in pain, and be healed, and find the way through the fire.

And ultimately I don't want you to get hurt.

So don't look.

Cause I'm gonna do what I always do.

Live. And grow.

And talk about it, and relate to the world, and provoke a conversation. And learn. And exist. And be respectful.

I want my life to be FULL. I want the fruits to be BIG.

EVERY single one of us needs to live a life that's full, and big, and without regret, and without ever for one second having our own self-analyzed fears decide something for us.

Life REALLY does go by way too fast.

It really can be over at any minute.

It really does matter that we love strong.

No regrets.

Tell someone you love, RIGHT NOW, that they are special, and your life is better because of them.

Wow, it's been...

...October since I last updated! It's not you, it's me. My fault entirely. There is only one thing I would like to say, kicking it back into gear here - love is better in black and white. And I mean that in every sense of the word, most simply when sitting under the innocent and pale moonlight. Some memories stick to you, forever and infinitely changing who you are, what you love, altering memory's dance and the points of contrast to the web of intersecting relationships we all share. As you can tell, it's springtime, and love is on my mind.

I thought I would kick it in with a perfect example of what love is...

Get out of here. PERFECT