Heene's Helium

I love controversy, of almost any kind. Controversy thrives in the court of public opinion, and makes great fodder for epigrammatic headlines, late night comedians, You Tube sensations, blogging, twittering, and all the rainbow of beliefs that shine down to the pot of gold at the end of these stories. Most of you have probably stopped caring about "Balloon Boy", and frankly, I don't blame you. The story's been repeated to near obsession, but I had to take peek at the Larry King moment when the innocent, young lass opens the door to the family sauna; the moment in which his father's story, as diaphanous and rickety as his weather balloon, came crashing down on live TV. "Why didn't you come out when they were calling your name?" the host asked. "I thought you said it was for the TV show," the boy responded. The Dad didn't really answer the question, deferring instead to mumbles and fractured statements about his son hiding. 

Knowing the truth now, it's easier to see all the fault lines in their story, but the science and reasoning behind his Jiffy Pop balloon was a barrel full of monkeys. Listening to his specifications, there is no way you can create a steering mechanism for a balloon - or a Tyco truck for that matter - using Reynolds Wrap and a kitchen timer. "I had wrapped the balloon in foil and used a kitchen timer for a power supply...Every 5 minutes it would send a million volts through the craft and you could steer, with subtle changes, where it was going." *A quick geek alert for anyone reading* A million volts would be roughly the equivalent of a stun gun. Remember "Don't tase me bro!"? As a general rule, it's said that 1 volt generates 1 cm of spark. Multiply that by a million and you would have enough volts to send 1 meter long sparks shooting around the thing. Don't expect the foil to insulate that many volts, nor can you expect that kind of charge from even your best kitchen timer. It just ain't happening. Judging by all the pauses and holes in the Heene's story, it was not a well thought out plan. And probably not a performance you'd expect from people schooled at a top Hollywood performing arts school. In the end, their story was just like their weather balloon "experiment". It dazzled and delighted us for a little bit, then came crashing down in a field of dust. The Heene's may not have gotten the pot of gold they were expecting, but I think the public did. Too bad their wasn't any popcorn in the balloon.